I’ve been talking about writing down for posterity the linguistic “pearls” that I grew up with for a long time; it’s time to put my money where my mouth is and get on with it. So, here goes! This blog is dedicated to my dad, William Joseph Pence, aka Bill Pence, Wild Bill, Doc, a true master of the vernacular language and from whom I acquired my love for language, through both his example and his DNA. When I told him that I was thinking about writing a blog about his use of language, his response was, “Blog! Ugh! What an ugly word! Don’t call it a blog; call it something else.” That sort of sums up Dad’s approach to language in general: make it up to suit yourself, but pay attention to how it sounds. It must satisfy some aesthetic of the ear that is quite subjective, but always right (because it is his own). Dad loves to quote Mark Twain, although I haven’t been able to verify this attribution, “Women shouldn’t swear. They know the words, but not the music.” Hence, the tagline of this, sorry Dad, blog. A blog is a blog, whether he likes it or not. And, as future posts will bear out, he has no trouble calling a spade a spade.