How to Save the Postal Service and Get Revenge at the Same Time

I don’t think my dad has ever read Don Quijote, but he certainly shares some characteristics with that valiant old man of La Mancha. I was reminded of one of those traits the other day when a postage-paid reply postcard fell out of a magazine I was reading. You know the ones. You can fill them out and send them back to subscribe to the magazine (as a gift, perhaps), and they always fall out onto your lap or the floor or the ground as you anxiously pluck the latest edition from the mailbox. They’re a mild annoyance, and most of us just throw them away or use them as a convenient bookmark. Who would think that such an insignificant piece of marketing material could be reason to wage all out war? Enter, The Ingenious Don Bill Pence of Sawyer Lake. These little bits of cardstock falling into his lap so infuriate my dad that he has taken it upon himself to attempt single-handedly (because I’m pretty sure no one else bothers to do this) to put an end to this offensive practice. His strategy? He mails every single one of them back to the magazine, without filling out any information of course, thereby, according to his twisted logic, causing the magazine to incur unnecessary costs for return postage and wasted time processing the useless documents. And, naturally, my dad does not do all of this quietly and calmly. He rants and raves with a predictable string of profanity every time a postcard falls out of magazine and someone is there to hear it. My questions are these: Does anyone else do this? Do you think the magazine publishers have noticed? If we got a grass-roots campaign going to mail back all of the reply postcards out of magazines, do you think we could save the Postal Service? Do you not agree that this would be an endeavor worthy of Don Quijote?


2 thoughts on “How to Save the Postal Service and Get Revenge at the Same Time

  1. Ha ha! Don Quixote, indeed. Didn’t Kramer of Seinfeld do something similar but with catalogs? I’ve been getting Martha Stewart Living, Good Housekeeping and Self magazines for the past six months and I have no idea why. You don’t suppose your dad…

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